So many women shared "me too" on their timelines this week to make visible the issues of sexual assault and harassment. My desire (and, I'm sure, many others) has been that the church/body of Christ would be a safe place for this kind of discussion.
I think it can be so easy to hide the wounds of the heart behind spiritual anecdotes or none at all (I've done both <3). Sometimes we say we're trusting Jesus for our healing, but, instead, we're further isolating and burrowing our pain. Some of us don't feel the freedom to share our stories because of fear of failure/rejection/self-victimization/insert here. We say we trust that the Lord is "near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit," yet our desperation only continues to grow in sequence with a feeling of numbness as we further silence our pain and pad it with scriptures, that, if we're honest, start to mean less and less over time because we've been avoiding looking into the eyes and face of Jesus with honesty.
Jesus is a real healer. He is a real listener. He is a real lover. No matter how much scripture I quoted, how many worship songs I led, and how many people I'd prayed over; I often lost sight of his very real presence as my Savior because of all of my suppression. I often felt tripped up when I caught the scent of my abuser's cologne, tensed when someone hugged me the wrong way, disconnected when my mentors and friends just wanted to get close and felt full of fight when my ex-husband couldn't understand my sudden urges for distance.
Isn't it ironic that we feel like we need to hide our "real" behind the cross--the place where Jesus laid his body open for us all to observe the reality and ugliness of his pain? He didn't hide. He suffered openly. Jesus doesn't need us to cover our pain.
He also doesn't need us to heal quickly, either. Sometimes we want to instantly pray our wounds away. Many of us have prayed the "Take it away, Jesus" prayers. But sometimes, his timing is slower than our "fix-it-quickly" mentality. His process is sometimes a slow embrace--softer, sweeter, and kinder. It's not because he wants us to suffer. It's because he wants to give us his peace through his body (once broken, now restored).
This world will continue to give us pain, but if we can posture ourselves to receive his body (his embrace + our space of restoration; also, the church), then maybe we can know/taste his peace.
Maybe this isn't the space you want to share, and that's okay. Just want you to know that you have full freedom to share your "me too" stories. Would love to see us really nestle in and see each other in our "real". Let's take each other before Jesus. Let's love and be his body.