I Am Not the point.

free to exhale daje morris

I am not in charge of all the things.

I am not the Ace.

I am not the point.

Jesus does not rely on how dependable I am, or how willing I am to put on a little show for him. Nor does he wait for me to get it together before he decides to lead me. He is not waiting for me to reach some level of enlightenment in my ego about my id.

It was almost three o’clock in the morning when I wrote this. An hour before my kitchen had been in complete shambles and this had been my awesome life-pattern:

Dream.
Set goals.
Pursue goals.
Get slammed in the face by life.
Still set astronomically, impossibly high expectations for myself.
Put my big-girl pants on.
Over-pack my schedule.
Give in to stress.
Procrastinate.
Panic. Shut down.
Clean my house.
Dream again.


yes. it was mayhem

The crucial thing in all of this was that I forgot. I forgot who I was. I forgot where my dreams came from. I forgot the cross. I forgot to let myself process what in the world was happening. I forgot to lean in to Jesus. I forgot to see myself, as the Lord sees me. And most importantly that

I am not in charge of all the things.

I am not the Ace.

I am not the point.

He is in charge of all the things.

He is the Ace.

He is the point.

When I am in charge, my inner-world literally falls to freaking pieces.

And even still, at the end of the day, he gets the glory.