Learning to Breathe

Learning to Breathe.jpg

I cannot breathe here.
I have been holding my breath this whole time, 
Afraid to exhale. 
What will they think of my breathing? 
Will they think that I am shallow, 
Or that I am too deep? 
Will they think that something is wrong?

They will think that I am hiding. 
They will think that I am judging. 
They will think that I am not loving,
Or way too loving. 

They will think that I want to cling
They will think I want to run 
They will think that my thoughts ring of disgrace
Or that I am haughty.

I just want to be quiet and sit in the darkness of the light, 
I want to sit in the comfort of His spirit.
I feel safe there; 
I can breathe there.

I can sit in the hollowed shadow of His presence. 
The glory in that nook is so rich, 
It is like a quiet cave with just the right space.
I can sit there. 
I can breathe there.

I can relax my spine and take off my shoes. 
I can twirl my hair.
I can stick my hands in my pockets or keep them out. 
I can relax.

I can sing there.
Like a frog, I can sing,

Or like a duck, I can sing.
I can sing loudly there, 
And it will echo the rains of his approval.

I can dance there.
I can dance wildly.
Or I can dance softly.
No one will know but him. 
Only him.

Oh, I can weep.
I can weep there. 
No one will think that I am sick or hiding. 
Or that I am overflowing. 
Only He will think, “Yes, I love you.” 
And He will say, “Come.” 

Oh, I can breathe.
I can breathe there. 
Deep or shallow breaths.
I can breath slow or quickened breaths. 
Or I can breathe like a person 
Who doesn’t think about their breathing.