I see you slipping in unnoticed. You’re guarding your face, careful not to show any cracks of pain or hopelessness just because you don’t want to receive a “hand out.” You’re so convinced that if anyone sees your humanity, they will reject you and call you weak. Your “thick-skin” becomes a gimmick mask while you let your heart turn into a stone that doesn’t need anything.
But then you go home and you shatter. And you sit there trying to glue yourself back together.
The secret is out. You’re not fooling anyone, because you’re not the only one.
I don’t know what happened with you, but I know that I’ve hardwired my brain to think that receiving anything from anyone is bad. Maybe we’ve taught ourselves to work hard for things like love and affection. Maybe we’re guilted by the words “it is more blessed to give than to receive.”
But those words are a paradox, because you can’t pour wine out of an empty glass.
Part of learning to love is learning to give. Part of learning to give is learning to receive. Part of learning to receive is learning to be loved. And learning to be loved is all about learning that you’re worth it.
And here’s the thing about worth: your value and your identity have absolutely nothing to do with what you do, but everything to do with the one who breathed life into your lungs. He gave you your worth before you could reject him. You may not understand it, but you have worth. Its yours with your name on it. And you can take it because its yours.
So, receive it. When people tell you that you’re incredible, receive it. When people offer to pray for you, receive it. When people invite you into their homes and into their families, receive it. When people want to hold you when you’re crying, receive it. When people tell you that you're beautiful or funny or artistic, receive it. There are people out there who are full of love, and they want to pour that love into you, receive it. And if you can’t find those people then try to receive this:
“Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord.” Jeremiah 29:12-14
“Call to me and I will show you great and mighty things that you have not known.”
Don’t be afraid. Receive the love, the healing and the freedom he gives you. One day you’ll be one of those blessed people giving.
Grace for the Good Girl, Emily Freeman
The God Who is There, D. A. Carson