when hope traces you back.

Photo Cred: Sarah Beth Bailes, 2015

Photo Cred: Sarah Beth Bailes, 2015

I wish, sometimes,
That this body could disappear
inside of these poems.
That I could fade into the lines
And the sounds of these words.
I wish I could fade,

and let hope trace me back.

I could fade, then run.
Always barefoot against the gravel.
Always bare because I have to feel.
Because I have to know that
There is a space in my body not numb.
Because I have to know that I am here.
I am here.

I am still here.

Panting away beneath my tongue,
“I am enough. I am enough.”

Because I have to know that
No one's eyes can tell me anything more
About myself that I don’t already know.
I have been zipped inside of this skin for
Years--I know what it looks like. I know.

I know that there aren’t any more surprises.
I am aware of every tiger stripe on my thighs
And every mole, and hair, and blemish
Every place on me is a song sung
By God. I know.

I know that I’m supposed to believe--
Believe that this body is enough. I know.

But I wish, sometimes,
That I could disappear inside of these poems
That I could fade into the lines
And the sounds of these words.
I wish, sometimes, I could fade, 

and let hope trace me back.

 

 

 

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